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well well... today i jus feel like blogging thing thts can make me look good... everytime blog abt my sad side, so its fair if i blog something good once in a while? can right? can la, if cannot stand the bhbness, then dont read la.. really dont read.. ; P...
so here it goes...:
i rememebr tht 3 months ago i said tht my target of savings was 1 k by the end of december... haha.. and 2 months ago my target was 10 k ... but now, all i can say is my target is 20k now... yeahz... sometimes its jus weird how things work... i imagine six months ago, i was really a super poor shit... cant even afford anything... i rememebr how i was going to buy a present for someone i loved(past tense) which cost 10 dollars, and i actually stood there thinking and asking my fren how? should i buy for her? i was so broke and even buying something for someone i loved, it took me 10 mins to decide... standing there... and the difference all this is only 6 months... six months only and i can see sudden amt of money i have...
looking at myself now, i think i have grown up lots and i can start to see things.. like maybe appreciation, and learnt a lot from my past relationship.. i feel tht i from level one jump straight to level 10... and i could see the people who were there for me and stuff... i used to think i was in my own world, what i thought, other people will not knoe, but somehow they also knoe(kinda hard to describe what i wanna say here)... and u knoe those kind of people whom only got gf and no fren, i guess i was like tht... really like spend almost 90 percent of my free time with my ex, and never even bother to meet my frens... all have changed, gotten back my life now..money did play a part too, if i hadnt have the money, i wouldnt have the money to spend with my frens la... frens are forever, relationship although as much as u can get closer than your fren, its not forever.
looking at me now, i also really super appreciate what my father had done for my family... i mean, he doesnt smoke, drink, nor womanise, jus tht a bit talkative and hot tempered and stingy(he was eally poor man, so cant blame him)... come to think of it, all these disadvantages is nothing compared to womaising and drinking and smoking... and on top of tht, he is rich, rich in a sense tht even if he dont work, he has money working for him. unlike most singaporeans where by if they dont work for a few months, they will need to sell their house and etc.. my fren told me yesterday 90 percent of singaporeans stayed in hdb, i was kinda surprised at the amt of "poor" people. i do not look down on them, its jus a word to describe them, i am sure they knoe themselve that they are not rich la, so no offence ok(maybe being direct like this will get me bang again... aiyahz, whatever la.. all i can say is i dont look down on them, in fact most of these poor people are the hardworking one as they go through lots of shit in life and have a higher chance to make it in life). and i can afford to go oversea comfortabley if i wanted to la(its a desicion tht i have yet to make), and yet i might not want to go, am i jus spoilt for choices? or i can go back indo to help my father expand his business, which could easy come up to a starting pay of 5 k sing dollars... how many actually have all these in their life? so i am really gladful and thankful tht i am one of those with a golden spoon... and my family is perfect, no problems at all, my brother doing fine, my sis getting married soon( my sis actually like the guy for his potential, as he is hardworking la.. not very rich, old worn out house but she like as she can see the potential.. there was some other rich guys after her, but she rather choose this hardworking guy... and the irony is there, as they went more into the relationship, we found out how super duper rich is the mother, as much as the house looks poor, the mother is the BIGGEST loanshark in jarkarta.. biggest already, no one bigger than her.. and my mum says easily she is 5 times richer than my dad.. so sometimes u dont judge a book by its cover)...and my sister and brother do care so so much for me... i thought everytime my brother talked to me in a "f*** uped" tone, and i thought he dont really bother abt me.. but there was this time where i got fined 500 dollars for bringing 9 packs of cigarettes, and he although he acted tough and jus scolded me.. behind his back, my fren told me he actually cried after tht... i am so touched by him... i am only the screwed uped one!! haha... but i think i still ok la, jus tht although study break, have not studied anything manz.. shit la.. ok, tomolo test starting, so i shall go study now!! now now now now now!!! hhehe...
wait, still wanna talk abt my proud daddy, his business, somemore is the business that can be taken over, not like people whose parents earning money, but yet they cannot take over and have to start from stratch.... so i am like really super thankful tht i have all these in my life.. and i although my pocket money(6k for one semsester, after minusing shit, i'l be left with 3.5 k for 5 months.. meaning 700 permonth la.. and yet i still can copmplain.. i think i am spoilt la) is not enough for me, i do apprecita the way he handle and limit the money in a way, he wants my bro and me to do money mangemnet... and he has been asking me to open and investing account in stock market, but still too young as the required age is 21 years old.. so in semp, going to get one account sharing with my brother's name la... and the reason is tht he wants us to knoe how to invest... all these he do, is jus for our good.. i jsu think he is really a great dad la...
remmeber once when i was depress, and i was telling my mum my plans tht i want to finish poly help dad and then retired by 30 years old(my plan was to get 10 bird nest house, each generating average 15 K, this is the minimum somemore, every 40 days.. and so if i got ten it will be 150 k per month.. and at age 30 can retire)(this is what i mean by money work for u, as this job u jus sit at home and shake legs).. and she knoes i was thinking at a depressed stage and low confidence hence needing to get superficial stuff to feel confident, like money, and she jus let me think the way i wanna think.. come to think of it, i was childish to even think of tht.. age 30, most people then jus started working lehz.. haha... all i can say, its all in the mind ... after breaking up, my fren told me its all in the mind and i felt like i am useless, i did not understand, now i do... i tell u people, its all in the mind.. all in the mind... if u think u are great, u are great... and why not? cause looking at my family , finaicial future, and my bank book, my few investment portfolio, i feel confident man... but in life, things can change suddenly la, so u must never be too complacent.. as much as for now i am feeling so confident, i can feel like shit in maybe 3 hours time? its jus one of hose moments where i feel great.. thefore this blog has came out.. hehe...
when u look at a blog sometimes, u dont jus look at the blog and conclude, sometimes u got to conclude the mood he is in now... u kne what i mean? its like if i blog when i am sad, of course i will look sad in the blog, but can u all judge me tht i am a sad person for tht? maybe i am a happy person, but jus blog when i am sad? u get what i mean?
haha, really need to study, maybe this topic should change to 85% thoughts 15% life.
Andry at 1:38 PM jus got hurt again by my someone... dont wanna talk abt it... i think i kinda immune already la.. or rather i think its the most supposely most hurting thing tht were to happen to me, but somehow the hurt was minimal.. it was not as bad as i thought i am going to feel la.. =).. hehe.. i think in one hour time, and it will be gone manz.. hehe
u knoe what? well, nothing mcu to blog.. current mood happy la.. so yahz.. since nothing mcuh to talk... lets see... what did i do today? basically nothing, supposed to find my fren and give him consouelling, but u knoe whats the funny thing, he dont even looked sad at all kk... wtf, he broke up with his ex 3 days ago, and now he is fine.. second sort of break up, so i guess experience plays a part... i guess the song "remedy" is the song for the day... listen to the lyrics and u will knoe why.=)... heheh...
sometimes i look at my fren, he jus broke up 3 days, and he can buaya so many girls.. lets jus say 2 to 3 girls at one shot?? fucking buaya, haha.. maybe i should learn to be like him a worldclass buaya huh? hahaha ;D nah, i dont like like tht... i prefer to concentrate on one, if cannot, then move on la..=).. like tht more fair to the girl la... hehe
ok la, thts all for today manz.. ciaoz guys... ; )
Andry at 10:33 PM what else can i say but pure sadness now.. pure pure sadness.... i will need to make 1 choice out of 2 in my life, very big choice now, a choice tht will mould my future and without fail might be the biggest regret or the best move of my life.... my sister had sent me and email regarding my future...
i ahve to choose whether to continue my studies and then go singapore and work for the rest of my life... or whether to go back indonesia for good... really for good.. i really in a delima now... i knoe if i were to go back indo for good, my finacial aspect will defintely improve as there are lots of opportunity over there, but if i were to stay in singapore, i'll be jus like most worker.. work for life and yet cannot make a mark...
definetly choice 2 would be better as i believe i will make it in life... but i jus cant to bear to leave all my frens behind, eveything tht i have jus behind here... everything.. i am so sad now.. i really dont knoe what to do.. i still feel i am so young(20 next year) and yet i have to make the desicion of my life now.. the thought of leaving here for good jus brings me down to tears... will not be staying here to work the te 3 years government as my father is going to cheat his way out of the government bond...
i really dont knoe what to do now.. this year has been a major change in my life.. so many things happened to me this year...
the email goes this way:
Dear bro,
how r u doin? better now?
anyway regarding u goin 2 study 2 ausst.. what major r u goin 2 take? other than that dad mentioned that if he doesn't allow.. u will come back 2 help him instead. i thought u have 2 work in singapore for at least 3 yrs first?
so what plans do you hav for ur future? u want to stay in singapore 2 work or set up a business over here?
i have talked 2 dad.. what i suggest 2 him is that he can give u 2 choices;
1. let u study in aussie then later u work in singapore for the rest f ur life. coz u need higher degree to b able to get better job right... or
2. you can come back here n use the money that he prepare for your study to start a business or somethin..
is all up 2 u.. but what i think would be better is t 2nd choice.. it is useless if u study in aussie already then come back to jakarta. it is just a waste f money. may as well use t money wisely..
if u take t 2nd choice, when ur business gets better, u can expand and loan money from dad for more capital...
you can learn a lot even without very high degree. bcoz frankly u r not that very good in study like those proffressors that if u graduate people would come n look for u...
if u r pass with average results, there wouldn't be much of a difference..
i think that u r better n more capable if u straightaway jump into t society n work for a while n start somethin, as u might find very good opportunity along t way.. so which mean u start earlier than t rest f t people n thus can b independent faster! earn money more n faster!
think about it. if got anything...i'm always here 4 u.
sis
Andry at 6:28 PM
so here comes the 50% life =) :
well, also nothing much la.. yesterday bought pasta sauce and the "noodles"(dont knoe what u call it), supposed to cook for today's lunch, but then i jus realised that i did not buy cheese!!! without cheese this whole thing would not be nice anymore... what the.... so well, cant cook it today la.. another day manz..
later going for sun tan and nerding together at the same time, kill 2 birds with one stone...hehe.. nowadays my roommate power ahz, today he is going to jog, swim and sun tan... whereas i am going for one of it only... somehow i suspect he is going to the gym too!!! but i knoe one thing abt him, his body shape really looks funny cause he is damn skinny but have a large tummy!! really big one.. been telling him to do sits ups manz...
ok enough, i think todays blog kinda long.. ciaoz...
Andry at 12:19 PM ok, my gal pal jus commented tht i always blog whenever i feel like i am in trouble.. well, looking at my previous blog, i realised its kinda true..=).. maybe i should call this 80% sadness 20% happiness =P.. haha.. but why ahz? why am i like tht? why cant i jus blog like any other one? i mean, somehow i jus cannot control what i have to blog, every time i blog, its always these stuffs la... mostly abt my thoughts...
thts why i have always like considering to stop blogging but somehow its jus never stops.. so how?? =)...
u kneo sometimes? i think this current blog looks sad too, but seriously, i not sad la.. i am ok=).. not too happy, but neither am i sad la...
u knoe what? maybe afterall i should blog abt my happy stuff? but sometimes i feel like those normal blog, they are so fake, i mean they really only put the good stuff, and u jus never sees the bad stuff before... and every supposely happening thing they do, they will blog abt it, and i jus think its kinda shity tht they blog this way... but sometimes i feel tht imagaine if someone were to come and see my blog, they will think i am a sad loser, but yet at the same time i jus dont feel like blogging those supposely good things to make myself look good.. so.. well... i also dont knoe la.. i really wonder why am i such a person? why?
am i suppose to blog like , wah yesterday zouk power la, we have lombochini and etc etc.. i mean its like wtf manz? its really wtf manz... i dont knoe la.. ciaoz.
Andry at 10:00 PM
i ever told my fren tht being a girl is jus lucky, cause all the guys have to make the first move and etc.. but then he told me, not really true, if a girl like u, she will not be able to make the first move... so well, yeahz its true too la.. so its jus kinda fair la..=)...
and then i also thought abt my tactics huh... its been rusty... maybe its time to brush up my skills, sometimes i jus think i always says the wrong thing at the wrong time.. really have done tht upteens zillion time manz.. but its ok, i am fine... so no worries abt me guys..=)..
its part and parcel of life, u live u learn.
Andry at 9:18 PM tonight going for mambo night at zouk... but u knoe whats the funny thing? the funny this is tht me and my fren supposed to ask my another fren to go zouk...in the end, he played out.... and this is his exact words in the sms:
i am afraid i go then i forget about everything i studied so far after drinking, i'm also a little broke n now still seven month, why dont we go after exams and do something else in the mean time? ktv? swimming? more revitalizing u know? n cheaper... i promise after final exam then i go...
;) (this is the edited version of the first blog tht i blogged, my fren complains the way i describe as too mean, so i toned down and deleted most of what i have written and yet hopefully still be able to keep the interesting saucy news... wonder why issit this way, if i want to blog saucy news, and yet at the same time gotta keep the good impression to avoid people from "banging" me.. aiyahz, maybe afterall blogging is so fake...)
i realised the it has been only 22 days since i have pass her a present as supposely our mark of the second year if we were together.. but thats there is an irony, within this 3 weeks, i felt like i have really forgotten over her.. it was so sudden.. its like suddenly jus one day i felt no longer sad and depress anymore.. and within this 3 weeks, i felt life was so long, i done so many things in this 3 weeks... so many things.. and also on top of that, nowadays i have been listening in class, no longer daydreaming abt my ex anymore.. maybe afterall the babe in my class jus takes away all the distraction.. ; P... i also realise things abt me, i have been doing things i never was interested, like swimming and going for suntan and actually blogging too! and if fact i no longer play soccer although i still do watch them... ciaoz.
Andry at 3:46 PM my fren actually put this as his nick...
virginity is not dignity, its jus the lack of opportunity!!.... wtf right? haha... ok good night folks.. ciaoz.
Andry at 11:33 PM
his ex was with him for 2 years plus, and the girl eventually dumped him(and the girl looked damn innocent can)... and the new guy, super rich, drive mercs, more handsome and musuclar.. and u knoe whats the best part? when he broke up, one of my fren actually said to him," aiyahz cannot blame her what, he more handsome, richer and also more muscular... " and the fren in his way was supposed to be comforting him!!! haha... we were having a good laugh abt it jus now... haha...
sometimes u jus feel tht u will not want to go into a relationship fearing the amount of hurt that the new process going to bring, but yet u jus cant live without them yeah? hahaha.. life is full of irony... ciaoz...
Andry at 8:05 AM SHIT!!!!!!!! i feel like shit now... my past six months of archive is all gone!!!! wah... why did i delete it? it ould have been fun to see what i have wrote for the past six months and laugh at it.. wtf manz!!! shit ballz... any of u knoe anyway i can retrieve my archive? i deleted my previous blog and created a new one... SHIT manz!!!!!!!
anyway, for now, i guess i am bac into the blogging business ehz... found out i can jus get new skins easily... hehe.. this is kinda interesting.. but will take time for me to get all things done.. got exams an stuffs coming up la.. caioz..
Andry at 2:37 PM this will be my last blog(hopefully!!).. i dont thnk i want to blog anymore la.... thanks for those "faithful" few fans... and sorry to fred, as much as i knoe u are interested, but i have decided la.. thanks for those who had been with me through the tough times... and in a way thanks to my ex, for those times when we were through the tough time too. i appreciate what u had done for me in the past.
special thanks to han ming, kel, and chintau... wondered how u guys take all my whinnings... haha..
-especially chintau: its sad to see us move out to different pathways in life again(why must we always experience this shit dude?), and knoeing u staying ntu, its almost impossible for us to meet up... maybe afterall its the house? the damn cursed house which all people who moved in, gotta break up yeahz?.. serious! it gotta be the depressing hillview man!!! the memories of hillview, will be there la.. wondered how we actually managed to survive it together chicken... *ehz, i damn proud of u, dont be a bastard ok, but if if its the girl who makes the move, then its ok i supposed, at least she's the bitch and u are not the bastard=)... u knoe how it feels la, u can see from my example dude.
-fred: thanks for always trying to conforting me with "people worst than me" examples.. haha... even though we are miles apart and it was abt 7 years ago tht we used to hang out, those moment was special la.. and somehow the attachment with u is still there... cause its like i jus knoe u are the same fred.. remember how we used to tell tht we want to set up our own band when we were young? and we actually thought we damn good looking? haha.. all the past memories in oldham hall huh.. and the everyday tanny thingy? haha... *ehz, dont fuck around too much ok, later u this time get aids instead of the normal STD then u knoe!!!
-han: well.. what to say abt u robert han? haha... perhaps to time to whack at zouk huh? hehehehe...
-kel: brudder, we still meet up with each other, so no worries, no sad talks here man.... dont be ice-cream boy la!! do something else.. like maybe sell backside?!!! haha.. jus kidding manz.. ; )....
-jus: thanks for the bon jovi cd manz.. its nice.. will always remember a guy call justin or rather the "saint justin"? ehz, why u so saint ahz? i hang out with u ahz, i can feel a bit stress u knoe, cause i knoe if i do some bad things, i am going to get screwed by u!! can give chance or not? haha
jus a bit of my life now.. currently staying at thomson road with my ex hostel mate la... been here for 3 weeks, still trying to adjust to the life here la, yeahz, finally a place where i can jus go down and do my sun tanning, yesterday was my first time tanning since one month ago manz... and in school, the situation is getting worse, getting distanced from more and more of my previous classmate, in return getting closer to the stupid han ming!! = P... long story, but at the same time i also starting to make new frens with my new classmates la.. cigarettes amount have been reduced to abt 10 sticks per day down from 40 after i broke up, trying to reach the 5 sticks mark now, nowadays i am less stressful...oh, my hair color is almost gone, its time for the hairdresser after my exams! maybe this time i go for light brown and highlight... hehe... although there might not be any chance for me for my new target ( no progress =/, and an see the signs of no improvement ), well, at least finnaly there is someone whom i am really interested in, she's really blur and cute and she looks like a nice person too... anyway thts all for my life. take care for all the "fans" out there.
currently listening to "mr vain" song tht was famous when i was pri6.. haha.. power song la.. oh u guys should try this song called "from sarah with love" by sarah conolly.
u knoe what, maybe i'll blog once in a month la.. or jus rather lesser frequency. =)... ciaoz....
Andry at 10:29 AM
so here it goes...:
i rememebr tht 3 months ago i said tht my target of savings was 1 k by the end of december... haha.. and 2 months ago my target was 10 k ... but now, all i can say is my target is 20k now... yeahz... sometimes its jus weird how things work... i imagine six months ago, i was really a super poor shit... cant even afford anything... i rememebr how i was going to buy a present for someone i loved(past tense) which cost 10 dollars, and i actually stood there thinking and asking my fren how? should i buy for her? i was so broke and even buying something for someone i loved, it took me 10 mins to decide... standing there... and the difference all this is only 6 months... six months only and i can see sudden amt of money i have...
looking at myself now, i think i have grown up lots and i can start to see things.. like maybe appreciation, and learnt a lot from my past relationship.. i feel tht i from level one jump straight to level 10... and i could see the people who were there for me and stuff... i used to think i was in my own world, what i thought, other people will not knoe, but somehow they also knoe(kinda hard to describe what i wanna say here)... and u knoe those kind of people whom only got gf and no fren, i guess i was like tht... really like spend almost 90 percent of my free time with my ex, and never even bother to meet my frens... all have changed, gotten back my life now..money did play a part too, if i hadnt have the money, i wouldnt have the money to spend with my frens la... frens are forever, relationship although as much as u can get closer than your fren, its not forever.
looking at me now, i also really super appreciate what my father had done for my family... i mean, he doesnt smoke, drink, nor womanise, jus tht a bit talkative and hot tempered and stingy(he was eally poor man, so cant blame him)... come to think of it, all these disadvantages is nothing compared to womaising and drinking and smoking... and on top of tht, he is rich, rich in a sense tht even if he dont work, he has money working for him. unlike most singaporeans where by if they dont work for a few months, they will need to sell their house and etc.. my fren told me yesterday 90 percent of singaporeans stayed in hdb, i was kinda surprised at the amt of "poor" people. i do not look down on them, its jus a word to describe them, i am sure they knoe themselve that they are not rich la, so no offence ok(maybe being direct like this will get me bang again... aiyahz, whatever la.. all i can say is i dont look down on them, in fact most of these poor people are the hardworking one as they go through lots of shit in life and have a higher chance to make it in life). and i can afford to go oversea comfortabley if i wanted to la(its a desicion tht i have yet to make), and yet i might not want to go, am i jus spoilt for choices? or i can go back indo to help my father expand his business, which could easy come up to a starting pay of 5 k sing dollars... how many actually have all these in their life? so i am really gladful and thankful tht i am one of those with a golden spoon... and my family is perfect, no problems at all, my brother doing fine, my sis getting married soon( my sis actually like the guy for his potential, as he is hardworking la.. not very rich, old worn out house but she like as she can see the potential.. there was some other rich guys after her, but she rather choose this hardworking guy... and the irony is there, as they went more into the relationship, we found out how super duper rich is the mother, as much as the house looks poor, the mother is the BIGGEST loanshark in jarkarta.. biggest already, no one bigger than her.. and my mum says easily she is 5 times richer than my dad.. so sometimes u dont judge a book by its cover)...and my sister and brother do care so so much for me... i thought everytime my brother talked to me in a "f*** uped" tone, and i thought he dont really bother abt me.. but there was this time where i got fined 500 dollars for bringing 9 packs of cigarettes, and he although he acted tough and jus scolded me.. behind his back, my fren told me he actually cried after tht... i am so touched by him... i am only the screwed uped one!! haha... but i think i still ok la, jus tht although study break, have not studied anything manz.. shit la.. ok, tomolo test starting, so i shall go study now!! now now now now now!!! hhehe...
wait, still wanna talk abt my proud daddy, his business, somemore is the business that can be taken over, not like people whose parents earning money, but yet they cannot take over and have to start from stratch.... so i am like really super thankful tht i have all these in my life.. and i although my pocket money(6k for one semsester, after minusing shit, i'l be left with 3.5 k for 5 months.. meaning 700 permonth la.. and yet i still can copmplain.. i think i am spoilt la) is not enough for me, i do apprecita the way he handle and limit the money in a way, he wants my bro and me to do money mangemnet... and he has been asking me to open and investing account in stock market, but still too young as the required age is 21 years old.. so in semp, going to get one account sharing with my brother's name la... and the reason is tht he wants us to knoe how to invest... all these he do, is jus for our good.. i jsu think he is really a great dad la...
remmeber once when i was depress, and i was telling my mum my plans tht i want to finish poly help dad and then retired by 30 years old(my plan was to get 10 bird nest house, each generating average 15 K, this is the minimum somemore, every 40 days.. and so if i got ten it will be 150 k per month.. and at age 30 can retire)(this is what i mean by money work for u, as this job u jus sit at home and shake legs).. and she knoes i was thinking at a depressed stage and low confidence hence needing to get superficial stuff to feel confident, like money, and she jus let me think the way i wanna think.. come to think of it, i was childish to even think of tht.. age 30, most people then jus started working lehz.. haha... all i can say, its all in the mind ... after breaking up, my fren told me its all in the mind and i felt like i am useless, i did not understand, now i do... i tell u people, its all in the mind.. all in the mind... if u think u are great, u are great... and why not? cause looking at my family , finaicial future, and my bank book, my few investment portfolio, i feel confident man... but in life, things can change suddenly la, so u must never be too complacent.. as much as for now i am feeling so confident, i can feel like shit in maybe 3 hours time? its jus one of hose moments where i feel great.. thefore this blog has came out.. hehe...
when u look at a blog sometimes, u dont jus look at the blog and conclude, sometimes u got to conclude the mood he is in now... u kne what i mean? its like if i blog when i am sad, of course i will look sad in the blog, but can u all judge me tht i am a sad person for tht? maybe i am a happy person, but jus blog when i am sad? u get what i mean?
haha, really need to study, maybe this topic should change to 85% thoughts 15% life.
Andry at 1:38 PM jus got hurt again by my someone... dont wanna talk abt it... i think i kinda immune already la.. or rather i think its the most supposely most hurting thing tht were to happen to me, but somehow the hurt was minimal.. it was not as bad as i thought i am going to feel la.. =).. hehe.. i think in one hour time, and it will be gone manz.. hehe
u knoe what? well, nothing mcu to blog.. current mood happy la.. so yahz.. since nothing mcuh to talk... lets see... what did i do today? basically nothing, supposed to find my fren and give him consouelling, but u knoe whats the funny thing, he dont even looked sad at all kk... wtf, he broke up with his ex 3 days ago, and now he is fine.. second sort of break up, so i guess experience plays a part... i guess the song "remedy" is the song for the day... listen to the lyrics and u will knoe why.=)... heheh...
sometimes i look at my fren, he jus broke up 3 days, and he can buaya so many girls.. lets jus say 2 to 3 girls at one shot?? fucking buaya, haha.. maybe i should learn to be like him a worldclass buaya huh? hahaha ;D nah, i dont like like tht... i prefer to concentrate on one, if cannot, then move on la..=).. like tht more fair to the girl la... hehe
ok la, thts all for today manz.. ciaoz guys... ; )
Andry at 10:33 PM what else can i say but pure sadness now.. pure pure sadness.... i will need to make 1 choice out of 2 in my life, very big choice now, a choice tht will mould my future and without fail might be the biggest regret or the best move of my life.... my sister had sent me and email regarding my future...
i ahve to choose whether to continue my studies and then go singapore and work for the rest of my life... or whether to go back indonesia for good... really for good.. i really in a delima now... i knoe if i were to go back indo for good, my finacial aspect will defintely improve as there are lots of opportunity over there, but if i were to stay in singapore, i'll be jus like most worker.. work for life and yet cannot make a mark...
definetly choice 2 would be better as i believe i will make it in life... but i jus cant to bear to leave all my frens behind, eveything tht i have jus behind here... everything.. i am so sad now.. i really dont knoe what to do.. i still feel i am so young(20 next year) and yet i have to make the desicion of my life now.. the thought of leaving here for good jus brings me down to tears... will not be staying here to work the te 3 years government as my father is going to cheat his way out of the government bond...
i really dont knoe what to do now.. this year has been a major change in my life.. so many things happened to me this year...
the email goes this way:
Dear bro,
how r u doin? better now?
anyway regarding u goin 2 study 2 ausst.. what major r u goin 2 take? other than that dad mentioned that if he doesn't allow.. u will come back 2 help him instead. i thought u have 2 work in singapore for at least 3 yrs first?
so what plans do you hav for ur future? u want to stay in singapore 2 work or set up a business over here?
i have talked 2 dad.. what i suggest 2 him is that he can give u 2 choices;
1. let u study in aussie then later u work in singapore for the rest f ur life. coz u need higher degree to b able to get better job right... or
2. you can come back here n use the money that he prepare for your study to start a business or somethin..
is all up 2 u.. but what i think would be better is t 2nd choice.. it is useless if u study in aussie already then come back to jakarta. it is just a waste f money. may as well use t money wisely..
if u take t 2nd choice, when ur business gets better, u can expand and loan money from dad for more capital...
you can learn a lot even without very high degree. bcoz frankly u r not that very good in study like those proffressors that if u graduate people would come n look for u...
if u r pass with average results, there wouldn't be much of a difference..
i think that u r better n more capable if u straightaway jump into t society n work for a while n start somethin, as u might find very good opportunity along t way.. so which mean u start earlier than t rest f t people n thus can b independent faster! earn money more n faster!
think about it. if got anything...i'm always here 4 u.
sis
Andry at 6:28 PM
what to say today huh? jus feel good... u knoe what i realised too, when i feel good, i have no mood to blog.. really cant think of anything to blog now.. maybe gotta wait till i am feeling "not good" then i shall blog? haha... dun knoe man.. hehe... realised have not talked abt my life for ages, instead it was thoughts which filled uped this blog.. and the topic was supposed to be 50% thoughts 50% life...
so here comes the 50% life =) :
well, also nothing much la.. yesterday bought pasta sauce and the "noodles"(dont knoe what u call it), supposed to cook for today's lunch, but then i jus realised that i did not buy cheese!!! without cheese this whole thing would not be nice anymore... what the.... so well, cant cook it today la.. another day manz..
later going for sun tan and nerding together at the same time, kill 2 birds with one stone...hehe.. nowadays my roommate power ahz, today he is going to jog, swim and sun tan... whereas i am going for one of it only... somehow i suspect he is going to the gym too!!! but i knoe one thing abt him, his body shape really looks funny cause he is damn skinny but have a large tummy!! really big one.. been telling him to do sits ups manz...
ok enough, i think todays blog kinda long.. ciaoz...
Andry at 12:19 PM ok, my gal pal jus commented tht i always blog whenever i feel like i am in trouble.. well, looking at my previous blog, i realised its kinda true..=).. maybe i should call this 80% sadness 20% happiness =P.. haha.. but why ahz? why am i like tht? why cant i jus blog like any other one? i mean, somehow i jus cannot control what i have to blog, every time i blog, its always these stuffs la... mostly abt my thoughts...
thts why i have always like considering to stop blogging but somehow its jus never stops.. so how?? =)...
u kneo sometimes? i think this current blog looks sad too, but seriously, i not sad la.. i am ok=).. not too happy, but neither am i sad la...
u knoe what? maybe afterall i should blog abt my happy stuff? but sometimes i feel like those normal blog, they are so fake, i mean they really only put the good stuff, and u jus never sees the bad stuff before... and every supposely happening thing they do, they will blog abt it, and i jus think its kinda shity tht they blog this way... but sometimes i feel tht imagaine if someone were to come and see my blog, they will think i am a sad loser, but yet at the same time i jus dont feel like blogging those supposely good things to make myself look good.. so.. well... i also dont knoe la.. i really wonder why am i such a person? why?
am i suppose to blog like , wah yesterday zouk power la, we have lombochini and etc etc.. i mean its like wtf manz? its really wtf manz... i dont knoe la.. ciaoz.
Andry at 10:00 PM
currently somehow feeling kinda lonely now... somehow today by chance all my close frens is not online on icq, neither is my roomate coming home tonight.. and the worst part is well, sad to say, i think i have given up hope on my target liao la.. cause really no chance given manz..=/... some might say, u knoe what, its only like ten days since u tactic her, but then, i think really no chance la.. really..,maybe one last shot manz, if cannot then nvm la...=)... the last thing i want to do is to irritate anyone la.. the irony is tht some might say hey u are not being sincere, but how to be sincere when she never respondes and stuff? doesnt it jus kills your morale? sometimes well, feel like got a bit of chance, but then again, sometimes she jus never response... so.. oh well... like tht la... =)...
i ever told my fren tht being a girl is jus lucky, cause all the guys have to make the first move and etc.. but then he told me, not really true, if a girl like u, she will not be able to make the first move... so well, yeahz its true too la.. so its jus kinda fair la..=)...
and then i also thought abt my tactics huh... its been rusty... maybe its time to brush up my skills, sometimes i jus think i always says the wrong thing at the wrong time.. really have done tht upteens zillion time manz.. but its ok, i am fine... so no worries abt me guys..=)..
its part and parcel of life, u live u learn.
Andry at 9:18 PM tonight going for mambo night at zouk... but u knoe whats the funny thing? the funny this is tht me and my fren supposed to ask my another fren to go zouk...in the end, he played out.... and this is his exact words in the sms:
i am afraid i go then i forget about everything i studied so far after drinking, i'm also a little broke n now still seven month, why dont we go after exams and do something else in the mean time? ktv? swimming? more revitalizing u know? n cheaper... i promise after final exam then i go...
;) (this is the edited version of the first blog tht i blogged, my fren complains the way i describe as too mean, so i toned down and deleted most of what i have written and yet hopefully still be able to keep the interesting saucy news... wonder why issit this way, if i want to blog saucy news, and yet at the same time gotta keep the good impression to avoid people from "banging" me.. aiyahz, maybe afterall blogging is so fake...)
i realised the it has been only 22 days since i have pass her a present as supposely our mark of the second year if we were together.. but thats there is an irony, within this 3 weeks, i felt like i have really forgotten over her.. it was so sudden.. its like suddenly jus one day i felt no longer sad and depress anymore.. and within this 3 weeks, i felt life was so long, i done so many things in this 3 weeks... so many things.. and also on top of that, nowadays i have been listening in class, no longer daydreaming abt my ex anymore.. maybe afterall the babe in my class jus takes away all the distraction.. ; P... i also realise things abt me, i have been doing things i never was interested, like swimming and going for suntan and actually blogging too! and if fact i no longer play soccer although i still do watch them... ciaoz.
Andry at 3:46 PM my fren actually put this as his nick...
virginity is not dignity, its jus the lack of opportunity!!.... wtf right? haha... ok good night folks.. ciaoz.
Andry at 11:33 PM
jus wanna share a story abt my roomate chua...
his ex was with him for 2 years plus, and the girl eventually dumped him(and the girl looked damn innocent can)... and the new guy, super rich, drive mercs, more handsome and musuclar.. and u knoe whats the best part? when he broke up, one of my fren actually said to him," aiyahz cannot blame her what, he more handsome, richer and also more muscular... " and the fren in his way was supposed to be comforting him!!! haha... we were having a good laugh abt it jus now... haha...
sometimes u jus feel tht u will not want to go into a relationship fearing the amount of hurt that the new process going to bring, but yet u jus cant live without them yeah? hahaha.. life is full of irony... ciaoz...
Andry at 8:05 AM SHIT!!!!!!!! i feel like shit now... my past six months of archive is all gone!!!! wah... why did i delete it? it ould have been fun to see what i have wrote for the past six months and laugh at it.. wtf manz!!! shit ballz... any of u knoe anyway i can retrieve my archive? i deleted my previous blog and created a new one... SHIT manz!!!!!!!
anyway, for now, i guess i am bac into the blogging business ehz... found out i can jus get new skins easily... hehe.. this is kinda interesting.. but will take time for me to get all things done.. got exams an stuffs coming up la.. caioz..
Andry at 2:37 PM this will be my last blog(hopefully!!).. i dont thnk i want to blog anymore la.... thanks for those "faithful" few fans... and sorry to fred, as much as i knoe u are interested, but i have decided la.. thanks for those who had been with me through the tough times... and in a way thanks to my ex, for those times when we were through the tough time too. i appreciate what u had done for me in the past.
special thanks to han ming, kel, and chintau... wondered how u guys take all my whinnings... haha..
-especially chintau: its sad to see us move out to different pathways in life again(why must we always experience this shit dude?), and knoeing u staying ntu, its almost impossible for us to meet up... maybe afterall its the house? the damn cursed house which all people who moved in, gotta break up yeahz?.. serious! it gotta be the depressing hillview man!!! the memories of hillview, will be there la.. wondered how we actually managed to survive it together chicken... *ehz, i damn proud of u, dont be a bastard ok, but if if its the girl who makes the move, then its ok i supposed, at least she's the bitch and u are not the bastard=)... u knoe how it feels la, u can see from my example dude.
-fred: thanks for always trying to conforting me with "people worst than me" examples.. haha... even though we are miles apart and it was abt 7 years ago tht we used to hang out, those moment was special la.. and somehow the attachment with u is still there... cause its like i jus knoe u are the same fred.. remember how we used to tell tht we want to set up our own band when we were young? and we actually thought we damn good looking? haha.. all the past memories in oldham hall huh.. and the everyday tanny thingy? haha... *ehz, dont fuck around too much ok, later u this time get aids instead of the normal STD then u knoe!!!
-han: well.. what to say abt u robert han? haha... perhaps to time to whack at zouk huh? hehehehe...
-kel: brudder, we still meet up with each other, so no worries, no sad talks here man.... dont be ice-cream boy la!! do something else.. like maybe sell backside?!!! haha.. jus kidding manz.. ; )....
-jus: thanks for the bon jovi cd manz.. its nice.. will always remember a guy call justin or rather the "saint justin"? ehz, why u so saint ahz? i hang out with u ahz, i can feel a bit stress u knoe, cause i knoe if i do some bad things, i am going to get screwed by u!! can give chance or not? haha
jus a bit of my life now.. currently staying at thomson road with my ex hostel mate la... been here for 3 weeks, still trying to adjust to the life here la, yeahz, finally a place where i can jus go down and do my sun tanning, yesterday was my first time tanning since one month ago manz... and in school, the situation is getting worse, getting distanced from more and more of my previous classmate, in return getting closer to the stupid han ming!! = P... long story, but at the same time i also starting to make new frens with my new classmates la.. cigarettes amount have been reduced to abt 10 sticks per day down from 40 after i broke up, trying to reach the 5 sticks mark now, nowadays i am less stressful...oh, my hair color is almost gone, its time for the hairdresser after my exams! maybe this time i go for light brown and highlight... hehe... although there might not be any chance for me for my new target ( no progress =/, and an see the signs of no improvement ), well, at least finnaly there is someone whom i am really interested in, she's really blur and cute and she looks like a nice person too... anyway thts all for my life. take care for all the "fans" out there.
currently listening to "mr vain" song tht was famous when i was pri6.. haha.. power song la.. oh u guys should try this song called "from sarah with love" by sarah conolly.
u knoe what, maybe i'll blog once in a month la.. or jus rather lesser frequency. =)... ciaoz....
Andry at 10:29 AM
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